Thursday, June 7, 2012

Topa Worries and Continued Loss

171.2 today. Awesome! I was going to wait until tomorrow to weigh, but I'm glad I didn't. I needed that boost.

Despite the nearly constant headaches, sweating and weird stomach feelings (not to mentioned involuntary teeth clenching, scalp pain, hair loss, inability to concentrate and muscle cramps), Topamax is effing KILLING right now in ALL the right ways when it comes to quick and consistent weight loss. I don't know what I'll do when I run out.

I've even started to look for more online, but it's so expensive and I don't have any money to spend on anything aside from bills, groceries, gas and diapers. Oh, and liquor and cigarettes. Two things I shouldn't be spending money on anyway.

*le sigh* Simple answer to my dilemma... Finish up the Topa I have and don't get any more after that. The whole point of taking it at all was to get a jump start on my weight loss. I'm already getting that. As long as I don't gain it all back when I'm out of the meds, I'll be good.

I can't lie and say I won't be disappointed when the weight stops dropping off like crazy, but I know deep down that this isn't a sustainable plan of action. I've tried that. Eight months of this shit and I was thin as a rail, yes, but I was also miserable beyond belief. I said I would never go down that road again.

So why did I keep the pills?

Ha. My mind is so screwed up.

Anyway. Time for work. Kisses, ya'll.

P.D.

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