Positivity

So I just woke up and my brain is still asleep. Judge me if you want. Whatever.

It's apparent to me that I need to be more positive in general. I pride myself on being the optimist in this relationship, but lately it seems that I've allowed myself to become more jaded than I've ever been, even considering my ridiculous past. I put on a happy face for most of the world for most of the time, but when it's just me, alone, I begin to dwell upon everything that's wrong with my body, mind and life (I know that there's not too much wrong with my life, when you look at the big picture. I could be starving and homeless out in the streets. I could be dying of some terminal disease. I could have lost my limbs in a freak accident or become a vegetable and be a burden to everyone who loves me. I know my life isn't that fucking bad, but I still reserve the right to complain about it.).

See? Told you I was still asleep. I'm rambling.

I want a macaw. They're pretty. Also, the baby makes the funniest sounds when she sees them on Nick, Jr. and I like that.

Anyway, I guess my point is that, though I know I need to be in therapy, I can't afford it and, since I don't want to be miserable, I should at least attempt to make myself better in any way I can. I need to stop being so down on myself constantly. It doesn't make me happy and it makes everyone around me upset as well, especially my significant other. I put so much of myself into making his life better every day and then I go and ruin it by starting a long and drawn out argument about how much I fail at life. Oh, yes, I bet I'm a goddamned JOY to be around.

Ha... I just did it again. STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT MEOW.

I'm going to get to work now and focus on the positive. In fact, here's a small exercise that I've just fashioned for myself. I hope it's effective.

Today's Five Random Stuffs of Positivity:

* I have two AMAZING daughters who think the world of me, no matter what.
* My mother-in-law is AWESOME. How many women adore their husband's mother?
* I've developed a pretty nice tan on my legs over the past month. That's nice.
* I sold my fucking car. Finally. $350 toward the "we're broke as fuck" fund.
* IT'S FRIDAY!

Okay, I'm done. The Backyardigans is on and the tiny one is blowing raspberries at the television. It's making me happier already.